Everyone uses a system, whether consciously or not. Our family culture is a system of sorts, with jargon, rules, behaviors, judgements, and mannerisms both overt and covert. This being the case, when we meet someone new we unwittingly compare our system to theirs. We may not even be aware of it, but we are in fact assessing others based on our system. Many times, we hit it off or not based on unconscious decisions.
There have been times when I will start to tell someone about my tools like the foursquare and get the response, “I don’t like systems.” I reply, “Oh, then what would you like to talk about?” We will then meander down a path that demonstrates that person’s system.
There is nothing wrong with systems; they give our lives order and continuity. What is important is to be consciously aware of what systems we use. Don’t believe you are the only person in the world who doesn’t use a system. We all use them. Rather, don’t be attached to your systems or identified with them. If you are not attached to your system, you can adjust and be fluid and appropriate. We need to be able to let go and not require everyone to relate with our systems. This will give everyone a chance to relate with you and with each other.
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