Until we take full responsibility for ourselves and for what we have done, we will never find resolution. Blame never brings resolution. A beginning step may be to say what other people did, but then we have to see what we did, what we brought to the table.
For career victims, feeling misunderstood and persecuted is a badge of virtue. And the worst thing that could happen is for them to be viewed as they actually are, without any embellishment.
Competence builds confidence–not the other way around.
The career victim uses their own potential as bait for the guiltily responsible; the guiltily responsible wants to be the indispensable guide and support for the career victim.
Clarity and resolution are always possible, but only if we are no longer indulging in positivity or negativity.
If we receive the Grace in the moment and then intellectualize it, we will lose it; if we receive the Grace in the moment and fail to study, we will also lose it. Grace is a spark or ember that has to be tended to become a lasting fire within us.
When a career victim temporarily gives up her narrative, if things go well she feels deprived and belittled because it wasn’t “her” that people affirmed or liked. So she scrambles to get back to her narrative, because she wants her idea of herself to be affirmed. Anything else is, to her, victimization.
People who refuse to accept their own agency shy away from responsibility for their spiritual growth and just like to be dragged up the path, transformed as if by magic.
The shrunken self does not reflect. It always applies a double standard: if I do it, it’s okay, or at least understandable, and your reaction is your problem; if you do the same thing, it’s not okay, and it upsets me.
If you think you’re in charge of your life, you’re really just at the mercy of your triggers.