The Love Machine Part One….

Rohini Love, Reflections, Uncategorized 2 Comments

It’s all about recreating our childhood vibration, which we call love. We call it love (or safety, comfort, normalcy, etc.) because it is how the small self gets attention, and therefore power. For the small self, power is the surrogate for love. Intellectually we hate the vibration and look for “solutions”, but emotionally we crave it and keep looking to maintain it, and we find other “solutions” to help us do that. We go to people and situations that will support the vibration, yet we say we want out. And in truth we want out and are out.

The love machine does not create love. Actually, it is a system for twisting love. When we realize that, we try to change it from within the machine itself. But the one who fights the “good” fight against the system is not only a part of the system, but is the one who feeds the system.

How we set up the love machine:

We set up the love machine initially when we were very young, and all we knew of love was the caregiving environment we inhabited. Whatever experience we had, we called it love. The most powerful person in our world becomes the exemplar of love. By imbibing this experience without any discernment, we then became attached to it, and began seeking to maintain it.

How we can uncover our love machine:

First we have to feel the vibration we aspire to have. We may intellectually know that this vibration is not love, but emotionally we believe it is.

Next, we have to recognize how this “love” is nurtured. Who, what, when, where, why, how, does this happen? What kind of person or situation encourages us to experience this vibration? What qualities must this person or situation have in order for us to feel our vibration of “love”? What kind of experience and mental chatter do we have around them?

Finally, I need to know my “solution”. My “solution” is what I do when I recognize intellectually that the experience I’m having is not real love, and I try to “solve” the vibration. For instance, if my “love” vibration is in truth anger, I may use numbing as my solution. Or if dread is my vibration, I may accommodate as my solution. The truth is, I do not want to leave my system, so my solution is in fact part of my system, and keeps me inside my system.

Take the example of a person whose childhood experience of love was one of deep insecurity, despondency, and fear of abandonment. That vibration will be what he calls “love”, and he will spend his life trying to nurture and maintain it. He will gravitate toward people and situations that make him feel insecure, despondent, and fearful, and avoid people and situations that actually offer him security and acceptance.

First, he must recognize his “love” vibration for what it is, not what he calls it. This means being willing to face a delusion that has shaped his life. Not easy, but necessary. We must have courage to do this.

Then, he must come to grips with how he nurtures his “love” vibration. What sort of people, situations, and thoughts encourage him to indulge it?

Finally, he needs to identify his “solution”. It may be to reject outright, or to take what he calls “the high road” and put up with things he shouldn’t tolerate, or to obsessively analyze and then discard. Each time the “solution” is applied, it hits a reset button, and the machine starts humming again. Often, people will deflect an opportunity to recognize their system in order to hit reset.

Stay tuned for next week when we discuss how we resolve The Love Machine.

The Love Machine Part Two

Comments 2

  1. Sometimes even praise and encouragement can be a replacement for true love. True love shouldn’t be something that requires words and actions to express it. It should just be. If one mistakes the praise and encouragement for true love, he or she is at risk when at some point later in life those positive words may not be forthcoming from the people around them. Then a person will remain stuck trying to get that praise, instead of just being him/herself.

    Instead, one should just feel love from those who love him/her, especially God, who loves regardless of what He may say or do. His love is not dependent on anything. Then one might be open to appreciating true love even from the people around him/her. But that shouldn’t be the goal, it is just something that is.

    I wonder if I am giving away the answer to how to resolve the “love machine”. Stop replacing true love with whatever superficial manifestations your small self gives it, and just appreciate true love from the only One who can actually give it, God.

  2. Pingback: Practice For Us – The Love Machine Part Two….

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