“If you don’t love, you’re dead. If you do, they’ll kill you.” -Herbert McCabe
Love is everyone’s goal whether they know it or not. Love comes with a risk because until we actively choose this goal we will be only moving toward twisted love which is always tainted with hate. The people who Love are willing to Love no matter what.
So who are these people who embody Love? Swami Muktananda was one of those people. He Loved and everything that manifested out of him was Love. There were no twists and turns. Just Love coming through and manifesting as Love. Wild, uncanny, spontaneous, and always clean.
This is what I witnessed. Some people may say I was, and am, blind; I am okay with being called blind. In all my years Baba never let me down. Even today I feel his guidance through the mundane and the sublime. Life around a great being does not always make sense. Reason was so off the point. I went to Baba as a well educated person, a person trained and disciplined. I went to Baba for the internal practice. I was not looking for another external structure. He gave me everything I asked. I am so grateful.
Love is not reasonable; it is True. Love fulfills everything so the person who embodies Love is always fulfilling every moment, every event, every situation. We in our ignorance only see the superficial and miss the underlying purpose. Love is always moving to resolution, to harmony, to God.
Baba was always moving us to being resolved within ourselves by being our Self. That meant that events and actions had to occur that were not nice in order to illuminate what was in each of us. Baba, because of who he was, was always willing to play and orchestrate the lila that would shine that light on our delusion, so even we could see it and then choose to go with Baba and let the obstacle to Love go.
Baba left his body in October 1982. He has never left me. The Guru loves his disciples, and the bond is strong. The disciple may leave, but if he were to turn around the Guru would be there. Baba wanted what was best for each of us. There were people who did not always agree with him. They wanted their individuality to shine. For them, Baba was power, not Love. From the head, love is power.
If you love—if you have love—people who don’t want love will see you as possessing some kind of power, and they will want to take it from you. When they realize they can’t take it, they will try to crush or humiliate you to restore their sense of their own power.
The small self is always looking to recruit allies in its war against Love. If someone doesn’t buy its con, the small self will only see that person as having been suckered by some other con. In other words, people will see me as weak, and conned by Baba. But there is a problem with that line of reasoning: Baba Loved. People say, “But Baba told different people different things”. That was how Baba expressed Love for each person, to bring to light what each person needed to see. What was in each of us that would cause us not to see his Love? Hate.
Baba was always moving us toward resolution; his Love used whatever device was needed. And depending on where the person was, Baba was subtle or really blunt. The hate and the twisted love inform each of us until they are resolved back to God. Baba was and is always shining the light on our separateness, so that we see it for what it is: selfish individuality. Then he is there with us, encouraging us to choose life instead of death, to surrender to Love instead of hate.
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