RohiniReflections, Uncategorized

Two years ago, just before Thanksgiving, my mother spoke her final word: “No!” After that, her body relaxed, and the nurse thought she was resting. Actually, her body had ceased to be alive. When we first saw her body over twenty-four hours later, it looked as if she were resting. Her skin had color and was still supple. The only thing that indicated she was dead was that the body was so cold and devoid of breath. We could see, and feel, that she was still in the body, desperately trying to enliven it. She had refused to leave. I kissed her forehead and told her it was time for her to leave and go learn how to love and to be kind. At that point, she started to let go. Later, as her body was being cremated, Ian had a dream that she was very upset that her house had burned down. That was when she finally left.

After we made all the arrangements, we returned home to Maryland. Aaron had flown in from the UK to cook our Thanksgiving dinner, as we did not get home until Wednesday night. We were together for Thanksgiving, happy to share the meal while we were digesting reality.

Today, David and I shared our Thanksgiving meal quietly together. Ian is working in Europe, and Aaron is in the UK. Though we are not all together, we are thankful for the Love that connects us. We have also promised that, God willing, we will share Thanksgiving together next year.

I may have grown up in Boston, but for me Thanksgiving is not about the Pilgrims anymore. It is a meal we share with great Love and care, being thankful for all, rather than just a holiday gathering. We tend to be rigid in the menu, which has to be the same every year, no matter how many of us can be present. It is a sacrament, in a way.

So I want to share now what I am thankful for.

I am thankful for Baba’s Grace.

I am thankful that I received Baba’s Grace.

I am thankful that Baba still guides me.

I am thankful for my family.

I am thankful for all who share sadhana with me.

I am thankful for the enormously stressful challenges we had this year.

I am thankful for the strength we all shared in facing those challenges.

I am thankful for how we grew in all ways amid those challenges because of how we chose to face them.

I am thankful for the outreach work we now do.

I am thankful for the shakti, which is a purifying fire.

I am thankful that there is more of the shakti and less of me.

So I am thankful. I did not learn thankfulness from my mother, whose final word was a rejection. I learned to be thankful from Baba. Baba was always thankful for his Guru, and I am thankful for mine. I am thankful for life itself—that as I practice, life itself more and more becomes Love itself.


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