Indian translator and commentator I. K. Taimni speaks of two paths: one outward, which involutes deeper and deeper into the chaos of the world and away from Love; and one inward, which evolves back to God.
We do have choice, but most of us are unaware of that choice. Because there is a force that continually is moving outward into manifestation, we tend to ride that force and easily, unconsciously, choose the path of involution. The path of return has to be taken consciously. This path appears to be going against the flow, but in truth each step on it frees us a little bit more from the vibrations that cloud and delude us.
Involuting into matter makes us dangerous for ourselves. Here are some of the qualities and states that arise when we involute: nervous wreck, stressed, careless, unconscious, lost in others, guilty, unreflective, impulsive, overconfident, indulgent, violent, disrespectful, stirring up hostility, depressive, in denial, defending, rigid, “good”, numb, obtuse, risky, sloppy, defiant, rebellious, oppositional, grandiose, insecure, no core, humorless, resonating, wounded, victim, isolated, envious, fearful, angry, confused, enabling, prideful, judging, griping and complaining, greedy, vicious, malevolent, false, deluded, passionate, craving, wrathful, sunk in folly, controlling, unprepared.
When we involute deeper into matter, we create vibrations that perpetuate our unhappiness. We are not being kind to ourselves. But once we are committed to this, we will continue to look further and further outside ourselves for our solutions. The cause must certainly be this person or that thing or this situation. Because we are only turned outward, we believe the cause is never ourselves. In truth, nothing is ever solved this way. We may have moments of calm, but we had nothing to do with making that calm happen; something just got exhausted and stopped for a time. Not to worry: the problem will return and our focus and blame will again be on something outside ourselves.
When we evolve back toward God, the vibrations we had begin to quiet, and we learn to still them further, moving us closer and closer to God. Evolving back to God means being truly safe for ourselves. Here are some of the qualities and states that arise when we evolve toward God: healthy, inward-turned, conscious, reflective, responsible, respectful, modest, still, self-contained, accepting, restrained, nonattached, flexible, careful, kind, compassionate, empathetic, nonviolent, rigorous, disciplined, surrendered, good-humored, discerning, comfortable in your own skin, transparent, honest, seamless, confessing, compassionate, joyful, dispassionate, competent, pure, impartial, direct.
Turning in will aid us in experiencing the reality that safety is not about anyone else; it is really about us. Then, as we inwardly reflect, we ask questions. Are we willing to be safe only in juxtaposition to unsafe? Are we unsafe? Are we resonating with the unsafe, or are we still? Are we willing to see that resonating with the unsafe shows us where we still have work to do stilling?
There is no need to blame the people we resonate with; they are our teachers in a given situation. And if everyone in the room is resonating with the unsafe, how are we supposed to tell the safe from the unsafe? We can’t. Everyone is unsafe. When the safe people stop resonating and still, the unsafe are exposed; they stand in stark contrast. Recently at the airport, I watched a very skilled TSA officer work the crowd. He played the part of the friendly puppy and jester. As he interacted with people, they tended to relax and quiet their apprehension. Anyone that did not quiet he engaged. He changed the atmosphere to allow for anyone unsafe to be exposed. Very adept.
In order to be and remain safe, you have to know what you bring to the table. This means you have to know your vibrations by their true names in order to still them. The literary scholar Nathan Scott put it this way: “Not to know how to feel is to be at the mercy of dreams and fantasies and fears by which we may well be undone.”
Know your narrative. Know that your narrative is unsafe. Your narrative is unsafe because you never truthfully name what it’s really doing; you only call it by its positive term. Everyone’s narrative has to be exposed for what it is. Knowing you are not your narrative is not enough; you have to know how it works and what part you play. If you are always defending yourself, you are not safe. You are defending something not to be defended. Therefore, you are not safe for yourself or anyone else.
This means that for you to be safe, you have to be unsafe for your small self. The delusion is that we are safe as small selves. The challenging transition between knowing your narrative and then realizing that it isn’t such a great idea is why so few people do sādhana. It is unsafe for the small self. It throws everything up in the air.
If you want to be safe, be your own janitor: clean yourself up. There is not a spot you can leave; every nook and cranny needs to be cleaned. Every corner contains all the components of what’s not safe. True sādhana brings all to safety.
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