What is the mission? This question is rarely asked, yet it is assumed we are all on board with the mission. We assume we are all on the same mission. In the Absolute sense, we are, but from relative reality, most of the time we are not.
Our sense of how to function on a mission arises from our understanding of community, groups, and teams, which ultimately comes from our family of origin. We will relate in groups based on that understanding. That can be a good thing or not. How each of us approaches a mission hinges on that understanding; when our response to a group environment is dictated by our family of origin, we may contribute appropriately, or we may stray from or even undermine the mission. This will not be a good thing for the team.
How many times as a young student were you in a group project? The mission was clear: one person does all the work and everyone else sits back. They get the grade the one person accomplished, and everyone is on the same page—even the teacher. Mission accomplished. I was that one person, and always wondered what the mission was for the other kids. They seemed so sure of how it worked and were willing to have it the way it was.
Teachers themselves lose sight of their true mission. How many teachers want to be liked rather than to teach their subject? And the outcome is always the same: students learn nothing and resent the teacher. It is the same with parenting. Parents who strive to have only “positive” experiences with their children will ultimately reap resentment.
When there is a clear mission and every individual involved is on board with that mission, it can be accomplished.
But when every individual has his own mission, the team or community will not be able to work together effectively no matter how clear the overall mission might be. The truth is, every individual has his own mission—preserving himself. If the goal is to preserve the individual, the real mission fails. No matter how much you may think everyone is together, the dialectic of selfish/doormat prevails. The leader who wants to be liked will be selfish and miss the mission. And when there are team members who have their own missions which go against the leader, the one in charge feels like a doormat: not only is he trying to fulfill the mission; he is also trying to keep the ones not on board “happy and ok”. Sometimes we just have to let others go.
We have to agree with the mission not just superficially, but in the very core of our being. All our vehicles must be in line with the mission: our intellects, our emotions, our personalities, our bodies, our senses, our minds and our hearts. This means letting go of our individuality, so we can discern where real community lies and contribute appropriately.
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