Love and Independence….

RohiniLove, Reflections, Uncategorized

The Guru brings us independence from the tyranny of the small self. Independence means that we know who we are and know we are not the small self. We are freed from the constructs that have kept us locked in the smallness of an idea. We are now free to act and relate with the world without being identified with any of it. The Guru opens our eyes to the truth of our wrong understanding. The Guru shines a light so that we can move forward toward God. To receive what the Guru has for us, we must be willing to accept and own what we have chosen. We have to accept that though we thought we had chosen Love, we had not.

In the Absolute, all is Love, no matter what. In relative reality, Love gets twisted. Hate is Love in a twisted form. Hate is not and cannot be its own thing.

To get to know Love, we must first be able to distinguish all the gradations of love. We must know the whole spectrum of Love. From there, we must clearly choose Love and not twisted love.

Most people can’t discern between power and Love. They confuse the two because they live in their heads and therefore cannot discern. Adoration, which comes from the same motivation as power, is mistaken for Love. But indulging the small self is not Love. Because we are trained not to listen to our real experience, we can be manipulated and not notice it. We will call someone or some action “loving”, when it is actually “loving” the ego only.

When we are “loving” our action is based on:

Enabling the other’s ego

Indulging the other’s ego

Deceiving the other’s ego

Our reasoning will then be based on:




Having power as our motivation skews everything away from Love. We adjust our labels to accommodate our behavior. Then everything is “in harmony” and “makes total sense” – so nothing needs to change. Our self-indulgent behavior is a constant that controls our lives and prevents us from experiencing the freedom within. We persuade ourselves that our ego’s ability to adapt everything to its purposes is the virtue of mental flexibility.

Love is then seen as just about power. Everyone does for themselves and steps on others. It is about ego management:

  1. How we relate with others.

Police others’ egos and motives. Don’t feed someone else’s ego or power. No swelled heads here. Make sure no one is too big for their britches. Then we think, “If this is what the Guru does and this is what I do, then I am a guru”.

  1. How we relate with ourselves.

Take care of yourself. Take what you need and look after yourself (take care of yourself and don’t feed someone else’s ego). Indulge yourself.

  1. How others are to relate with us.

Gratification. Adoration. Niceness. Enabling. Propping your ego. Your ego should be propped up.

Indulging the small self is not Love. The small self will not indulge others at expense of its own care. If I give you what you ask for, I am supporting and validating your ego. If you give the other person what they actually ask for, you will be indulging their ego. So if you are to be “loving”, and because you believe you are “loving”, you will do everything not to fulfill a person’s sincere request.

If I operate according to this system, then I know that the only way I get my needs met is if I sneak. I also expect others to fulfill my needs; they have to “know” what I need. And then I get angry when they don’t, and then don’t meet my needs.

To love yourself is to seek what is truly best for yourself. But a “good” fake guru encourages you to side against yourself in favor of them. Everyone sides against themselves in favor of the other person. That’s called “surrender”, but it’s actually enslavement. This is one way we get to maintain our small self.

For people who think power is Love, spiritual practice is punishment.

Instead of practicing, these people want the Guru to bail them out, to fix them and make their problems go away. But they know better than to feed the Guru’s ego. They do not realize the Guru does not need ego strokes. Giving and showing appreciation to the teacher is for the student’s benefit. It is an opportunity to express real Love. The lover learns how to Love by having someone to love.

When power is the mistaken goal, the one who initiates is the loser. So the disciple who goes to the Guru and appreciates the Guru is a loser. The Guru has to go to the people, if the Guru is to be seen as “loving”. The Guru Loves, and so sees through this game and does not play it.

The true Lover is beyond power, beyond winning and losing. Everyone has to be willing to be a loser in order to win.




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