The following are raps people wrote about their “ways (not) to be”—the litanies of their shrunken selves. Part of spiritual practice is learning how we operate when we are not fully conscious; this process is detailed in two earlier blog posts titled “The Way Not To Be” and “Not the Way To Be.” These raps helped their authors gain clarity and nonattachment.
The Way (Not) To Be Rap 7…
My whole life has been about
Living the “way to be”.
It’s a path filled with pain,
Hurt and injury.
I don’t call things by their name;
Rather, I impose my own label.
Just fooling myself,
And living quite the fable.
Not being with my vibes,
Rather I just notion build.
Residing in my head –
It’s with notions always filled.
I don’t say cruel things
Right to your face.
I am just helping you out
By putting you in your place.
It might seem that I judge you
Over things that are small.
Discretion is the label
That this we must call.
I am not isolated
Nor fear community.
I’m just self-contained,
And it works so well for me.
Is this whole charade
Really working for me?
So sure of my ways
But without clarity.
It hurts me to say this.
My life is not the way to be.
Now is the perfect chance
To quit my own story.
The delusion must end,
For I am not really good.
The story of my life
Isn’t making Hollywood.
Call things as they are.
Stop this life of falsehood.
Put the trash on the curb
And surrender “being good”.
I’ve fooled myself quite well,
But, alas, no other folks.
I’ve run from my entire life
And made it a bad joke.
I show up for class
And stand out in high relief.
So blind to my own anger
That it leaves me in disbelief.
Time to face my narrative
And how I operate,
Stop living in my head
Before it’s all too late.
Time to stop being “normal”,
Being stagnant and always dead.
I need to be alive and free
Not trapped inside my head.
See, Glenn has to die,
Or he will remain in his cell.
He can have liberation
Or choose to stay in Hell.
The Way (Not) To Be Rap 8…
Oh grumble, gripe, gimme some peace.
This again and again and again,
Sick of black feelings.
Can’t I just be happy again?
No, happiness is not meant to be
A permanent state for me.
It’s not for me, for me is awful grinding, gnashing,
It’s not about Love.
Blackness, blankness, what am I doing here?
Just drag along through my days,
No hope, no Love, no life, nowhere.
The Way (Not) To Be Rap 9…
I’m a nice guy nuh nuh nuh nuh nice guy
Duck your head, duck your head, there’s a balloon in the sky
Kick it, kick it, whip it, throw
My vicious intent you’ll never know
Poor me, poor me. It’s not my fault.
My fault, my fault, emotional assault.
I’m nice. . . My nice. . . is better than yours,
Denise, De Nice, do you want to go to war?
Confused? Me too,
Didn’t mean to offend.
It hurts me more and I’m not even preesent
Absent and passive, insubordinate, rude,
Churlish, chicanerous, there’s no substitute.
“Career”, independence, success,
It’s time.
Alone and stupid,
And now it’s mine.
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