The following are raps people wrote about their “ways (not) to be”—the litanies of their shrunken selves. Part of spiritual practice is learning how we operate when we are not fully conscious; this process is detailed in two earlier blog posts titled “The Way Not To Be” and “Not the Way To Be.” These raps helped their authors gain clarity and nonattachment.
The Way (Not) To Be Rap 1…
J-U-D-G-E
J-U-D-G-E x2
I’m the judge and there ain’t no other
I learned it from the best, I learned it from my mother
I judge to be big, I judge to be small, I judge just to be a know-it-all
J-U-D-G-E
J-U-D-G-E x2
I’m the judge, jury and judged
It’s not working for me, but I still won’t budge
I like to hide and I like to blame
“It’s not my fault”, I have no shame
Sometimes I feel pain inside
But judge it away, so I can hide
It never goes away, it never gets better,
Oh God I’m getting tired of these letters
J-U-D-G-E
J-U-D-G-E x2
I’m the daughter of my mother
I call her “Christ”, “He” ain’t my brother
But I think I’m smart, think I have a part
And only find I’m further and further, and further from the Heart
When will this stop, when will it get better
I’m so attached to these stupid letters
The Way (Not) To Be Rap 2…
The way to be, that’s me
The way to be is an asshole, see
Objectifying lying and judging everyone
This is what I do to make my way, to be fun
Run around without a care, just happy go lucky
It’s the same mentality from when I was a druggie
It’s ugly, destructive, my kind of party
The decisions that you make when your way to be is Ari
Like shopping for a car and letting daddy do it
I’ll take that one, the one that says you blew it
But screw it, the only way from here is mitigation
No need to face any icky vibrations
My narcissistic tendencies are meant to be the way
Pretending we eventually will all just be okay
Say anything I want cuz I’m just being honest
I’m good, you’re bad, and I’m still being modest
Anything I have been told deliberately
I pick and choose and then I lose individually
The way to be is me and I refuse to see another
The way to be is just like my father and my mother.
The Way (Not) To Be Rap 3…
Let me take a moment just to introduce myself,
My way to be, exposed and taken off the shelf.
Our definitions of “the way to be” seem to clash,
So just brace yourselves for the coming whiplash.
You should not be honest, real, or true
About what you actually want, you just gotta make do.
Please do not go against anybody else,
Trust me, it’s best just to forsake yourself.
As long as I just do whatever she wants,
I’m safe, and I won’t be thrown under the bus.
It isn’t good to have any agency,
Or else decisions become responsibilities.
The only agency to have is the one that you give up,
So it can’t be your fault when someone else blows up.
Inflicting pain is the game,
It could be on myself or someone else—it’s the same.
I’d like to pretend that I’m “good” and nice,
But this is actually mean, a fool’s paradise.
Appeasement and indulgence are conflated with care,
Eh, whatever, pass the chocolate and the gummy bears.
Because I’m still attached, this writing really hurt,
But “the way to be” is just the dirt
On the mirror that reflects that I’ve gotten lost,
That Love’s been covered by a toxic blanket (of) frost.
Misery’s sustained by the way to be,
Because you can’t love yourself, I’m not loving me.
Now it’s finally time to take this garbage out,
It stinks, so leave it at the curb and turn back around.
Again, remember if you have no agency,
Then you can call yourself “the way to be”!
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