We have to face the ugly truth and accept it before we can get to the beautiful truth. We have to surrender to the way it is, not the way we want it or imagine it is. Then, through acceptance, we and everything around us changes. No, it does not end up being the way we wanted it to be; it is the way it is, and we are okay.
We need to stop running away from the truth. Just accept and then you can move on. Do not accept and you are stuck forever. We stay in the same frame of a movie, the same scene in a play, and it never changes. Why do we run, avoid? We run from pain.
If we would just turn and face the pain, it would dissolve, and we would then be free. But we are attached to pleasure, so we will not go in the direction of the pain. We are looking outside, away from the solution and from life, for pleasure. We are running from the one direction that will give us joy and love. Looking for pleasure rather than love will take us far away from happiness and bring us to separateness. We end up with misery and hate, and believe we are entitled to whatever we desire.
Stop the fight. Do you want to be alive or dead? When we surrender and accept life as it is we no longer hurt. If not, then we are lost in a play where we numb away the days.
So: what hurts?
Love hurts. NO. Love does not hurt. Hurt hurts. Love loves.
Care hurts. NO. Care does not hurt. Getting lost in others hurts. Losing ourselves is not caring, and losing ourselves does hurt.
Expectations hurt. Not accepting reality hurts.
Life hurts. NO. Choosing death hurts.
So how do we turn around? Desire is actually our will. What we desire, we then will to happen. That is why we feel surrender is the wrong direction. We believe that if we surrender, we lose. We do not ask the question to what or whom are we surrendering. Purifying the will purifies our desire. We will then find ourselves surrendering to going deeper and deeper inward toward the Heart. We are moving to where we live before pain manifests, before our love has twisted to pain. As we will ourselves deeper all becomes more subtle; our vibrations are more subtle until they are still, at which point we find ourselves at peace, free, and resting in Love, our true nature.
Baba used to say “I give you what you want so that some day you will want what I have to give you”. For so many years I have pondered that phrase. My understanding now is that Baba saw reality and did not fight. I realize I have been fighting, not accepting that not everyone wants what I have to offer. So now I see I could not train them. I am thankful, because they have trained me. I get it. They did not learn anything from me, but I learned so much. They chose to turn from Love. I surrendered and accepted, which allowed me to still and not be distracted by a fight I could not win. I gave them what they want so that someday they might want what I have to give them. I understand. Baba saw so clearly; he was extremely patient.
By accepting and surrendering, then, I have been a good student. I have learned to be a good supporting actress for their play, and am in fact free. These people will move on because they do not want what I have to offer. For me that is totally acceptable. I want Love. Fighting people to get them to receive what I have to offer is hurtful. I then am causing pain, not helping cast out their pain.
This goes back to Ganesh as the remover of obstacles. Ganesh now has developed inner restraint so that obstacles can remain where they are. Not everyone wants love. Not everyone wants joy. We have different goals. That is okay. I surrender. Do you?