Every moment of our lives is about having character and integrity; being truthful, honest. Being with our experience, whatever it is, means being honest with and about our experience, through and through. When we are honest about our experience, that constant honesty frees us. If we are honest about our stories, we can learn the right lessons from them. But if we keep a fantasy going, we are only going to get crushed.
Our responsibility is to be honest with ourselves and with each other. To be honest feels clean and clear, with no resonating, and no stickiness.
In sādhana, we speak of sat-cit-ananda. Sat is Absolute Truth. It’s not absolute fantasy, absolute lies. Absolute Truth-Consciousness-Bliss means honesty: being honest, clear, aware, awake, conscious, and loving. That’s to the best of our ability at any given moment. Be with your experience whatever it is, let whatever comes up come up, and function appropriately on the physical plane.
But what so many people want is for our real stories, our real experiences, just to go away. They want their fantasy to be their reality. And they believe that sādhana will make it so. Sādhana will remake their lives in the image they have always wanted. New story, new character, new everything. That’s not the way it works. But their thinking doesn’t understand this reality; it only understands its fantasy.
We already have everything we need to be sat-cit-ananda, and our idea is not going to get us there. In fact, it will take us completely off track and away from Love.
So part of not wanting the reality is not wanting God, because we are not willing to see that whatever God does, He does for good. And He does again, and again, and again, and again. Always.
If we are willing to surrender to reality and the actual situation we are working with, we can then whittle away at our desire for delusion. We learn to acknowledge things for what they really are, and call them what they really are. This is why we use fourchotomies and work to be with our experience, whatever it is.
By being the center of your life, the star of your narrative, you miss life itself. And in your fantasies, you’re always the star; you never play a supporting role. You decide what everyone else is saying, doing, feeling, and thinking—and you completely isolate yourself, even among people.
And in your fantasies, you are always good. But having good thought forms doesn’t make us good. We can delude ourselves with our good thought forms and maintain our cruel, uncaring actions.
If we insist on having it our way, according to our ideas of our story and of sādhana, we will find ourselves thinking we are independent spirits and learners when we are actually prideful, and subjugated by our own ideas.
Independent spirit / self-contained | Dependent / subjugated |
Arrogant / prideful | Learner/ humble / committed |
The answer lies not in fantasy but in the truth within our own stories. This is why I keep going over my life events, questioning them. Did I learn everything? Did I get everything? Why does this event feel similar to that event?
By constantly reflecting on our stories, we free ourselves from our wrong understanding of the events that have happened in our lives. We then do not have to amplify a vibration in a bigger and more painful situation in order to learn. We are content to accept our responsibility as actors because we have faced the reality of our stories’ purpose: to help us on the road to liberation.
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