Ganesh….

Baba used to call me Ganesh. At the time, the name did not bring joy into my heart. What am I supposed to learn from this? Why is he calling me Ganesh? These were my questions. Yes, I was in charge of security for the ashram. Yes, Ganesh was the guard at the door for his mother, Parvati. Yes, I was Baba’s appointments secretary and therefore was guarding access. Is that all? Baba was never that simple. Everything had such a depth of import, if we were willing to see and listen. So here I am thirty years after Baba left his body, looking at this, just as every interaction I had with him was a clue in my treasure hunt.

A statue of Ganesh is usually placed at the entryway to a house or building. His image is that of a human male body with the head of an elephant. Ganesh both protects and is the remover of obstacles—hence head of security. So for Baba, I did what I was supposed to, and the qualities of Ganesh were appropriate.

As a spiritual teacher, I have continued to use these qualities. What could be more perfect than to remove obstacles for my students? Worth asking. It appears I do my job relentlessly and all too well for some people. Not everyone wants their obstacles removed. Outside my teaching, I am very aware of this. I can speak appropriately and let people be where they are, even when I am looking at the elephant in the room. However, when people come to study with me privately, I sometimes make the mistake of removing obstacles when all they want is to be coddled. Sorry to anyone for whom I have committed this error. My own lack of discrimination has caused that mistake. What I should have done was be quiet and not see you again. You could have come to my group classes, where I am less specific.

This brings me to Australia in 1978, when Baba yelled at me for allowing people to see him privately when it would have been appropriate for them to see him in the darshan line. For years I pondered this event. Why shouldn’t they have seen him? What was the problem? Now it is so clear. These people did not understand the gift; they were wasting his time. So sorry, Baba, for that mistake; I completely understand what I did wrong.

Baba used to say, “I give you what you want so that someday you will want what I have to give you”. He was a great Guru, and this statement shows a Guru with great patience.

I am not a great Guru, and I lack Baba’s patience. Remember, my role is that of Ganesh, the remover of obstacles. My manifestation is not so friendly towards the small self.

The time has come for Ganesh to go out to pasture, so to speak. I am tired of having some students fight me while I am fighting for them. If you want to remove obstacles, you need to know that they are in fact obstacles, and you have to work with me to remove them. Otherwise, I will remain quiet. I, too, have foursquares, and here is one:

We all need to decide whether we want Ganesh in our lives or not. Sorry, Baba, for not learning this sooner.