Whether we like it or not, in order to go to God we have to crack. What has to crack? We do. Who is we? Not who we are, but who we think we are. Why crack? Because the only way we are going to get to who we really are is to shatter our wrong understanding.
The greatest delusion is that we all use the words I, me, and we, thinking we actually are that I, me or we, when in Truth we are none of them. The joke is on us. We are caught in the web and don’t know who it is that is speaking. We unfortunately believe we are the thinking apparatus, which is sometimes called the psychic instrument. That instrument includes the data collector, the intellect, and the ego that identifies with the decisions of the intellect.
Not until we crack, not until we snap, not until we give up all we are not, can we have a chance to know who “I” really is. So many times in spiritual practice we hear about peeling the onion skin; however, at some point we get to the end of the onion, and then what?
In order to crack we have to be strong, disciplined, and able to withstand abrupt change that does not go according to our program. We must steady and still in order to crack. To put it differently, we have to surrender to God all our wrong identification. We must be willing to no longer be who we think we are and, even though we do not know who we are, be willing to go in that direction. Then the only one that will suffer is who we are not. So if we really give up our wrong understanding, we will fall into who we are and be in Bliss. Who we are is always here; we just hide from it. Usually, instead of breaking, we suffer bitterly through the process of self-deconstruction because we are still attached, even subtly, to who we are not, to that “I” which is going to die, going to dissolve. After that false self goes, the Self, the true “I”, will still be there.
Some people are sure they have already found their core, so there is no need to search; they are finished. The only problem is this core is within their small self and in most cases is just the commentator, the conscience. This is idolatry. At this point the person desperately needs to crack, to break from this wrong understanding. But unless they are able to perceive this voice as an object, they will hold on and convince themselves that their voice is Real. In truth, they have no access to the Real as long as they hold on. They believe their individuality, their small self, is the universal Subject, present everywhere. As a result, if you disagree with them, they believe you are out of sync with the universe. Though they need to break, they have a great capacity to resist discomfort, tapasya, purgatory. They will valiantly resist the pain that can actually free them because they believe that positive, “happy” feelings is all they should have. By avoiding discomfort, they protect their own wrong understanding.
Some self-styled teachers spread erroneous ideas about spiritual practice and the path. I have heard it said that once you experience shaktipat, the shakti will simply carry you home. This is completely wrong. Once you get shaktipat, the work really begins; the shakti does not do it for you. The shakti will aid your right effort. Right effort is letting go of anything that keeps us from union with God. So we crack in small moments and great moments, we let go in different ways, but let go we must. We must break in order to truly exist, and Joy is there for those strong and willing enough to Be. This is the only way out of the prison of wrong understanding: wake up, and find that Love is who you have always been.
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